The Role of Grief in Radical Reinvention: A 3-Step Process for Letting Go.

Sekhmet Lioness of the Sun. Healer of the Word. Power with purpose.

To become who you are meant to be next, you must say goodbye to the woman you were forced to become.

And that is a form of grief.

We are told that reinvention is a forward-moving act of creation, a clean slate. But this is a half-truth. Before you can build, you must clear the ground. And clearing the ground of a life, an identity, a set of expectations you’ve carried for decades, is a fierce and sacred act of demolition. It requires us to grieve.

We must grieve the "safety" of the old job, even if it was suffocating. We must grieve the identity you wore like armour, even if it was heavy.

In the spirit of our sponsor for this topic, the goddess Sekhmet, we must embrace this process not as weakness, but as an act of creative destruction. This is not a gentle sadness; it is the powerful, necessary dismantling of the old to make way for the true. This is the sacred work of creating a Nourish-Space - clearing the ground so your true self can be built.

Why Grief is a Weapon, Not a Weakness

Grieving a past self is not an act of wallowing; it is an act of war against the inauthentic. The woman you were forced to become was a construct, an identity worn like armour to survive in a world not always built for you. Letting go of the "safety" of that old job or that old role is a real loss, and acknowledging it is crucial before you can fully step into your power.

The Specific Grief of a Late Diagnosis

For many of us, particularly women, this grief has a specific name: the aftershock of a late diagnosis like ADHD. It is the profound and often overwhelming grief for the life you might have lived. "If only I had known earlier," the voice whispers. If only you’d had the understanding, the tools, the self-compassion that a diagnosis can bring.

You grieve the younger woman who thought she was lazy, not neurologically different. You grieve the missed opportunities, the relationships strained by misunderstanding, the sheer, exhausting energy expended just to stay afloat in a neurotypical world. This isn't just about what could have been; it's about mourning the years spent blaming yourself for struggles that were never your fault. This grief is the first step in a profound self-reclamation. It's the process of letting go of the ghost of 'what if' to fully embrace the reality of 'what now?'

The 3-Step Process for Letting Go

Radical reinvention requires a ritual of release. This 3-step process is a guide to consciously and powerfully letting go.

Step 1: Name the Ghost 

Before you can release your past self, you must see her clearly. Who was she? What was the armour she wore for you? What did she value in order to keep you safe? Acknowledge the roles she played: the People Pleaser, the Good Employee, the Masking Professional. See her, understand her, and honour the heavy lifting she did for so long.

Step 2: Hold the Funeral 

This is the heart of the grieving process. You must consciously thank and release the woman you were. This is an act of profound respect for the journey you’ve travelled. You can write a letter to her, thanking her for her service and explaining why it's time to move on. Or you can use the guided meditation below to formally say goodbye. The goal is to create a clear, defined moment of release.

Step 3: Prepare the Ground 

Once the old structure has been honoured and released, you are left with a clear, open space. This is your Nourish-Space. This final step is about intention. What will you plant in this newly fertile ground? What aspects of your true self, long dormant, will you now allow to grow? This is where you set the intentions for the woman you are becoming.

A Guided Meditation for Self-Reclamation

Find a quiet space where you can sit undisturbed for 10 minutes. Close your eyes and take three deep breaths.

(Pause after each paragraph to allow time for reflection)

1. Naming the Ghost: 

Bring to mind the woman you are preparing to release. See her standing before you, not as an enemy, but as a younger version of yourself who did her absolute best with the information she had. See the armour she wore, the smile she used to keep the peace, the ambitions she quieted to fit in. Look at her with compassion and deep gratitude. Silently, or out loud, say "Thank you. I see what you did for me. Thank you."

2. The Release: 

Now, see a beautiful doorway of light appearing behind her. It is time for her to rest. Tell her that her work is done, that you are safe now, and that you are ready to carry the journey forward with new understanding. Watch as she turns and walks towards that light, not with sadness, but with a sense of peace and completion. As she steps through, the doorway closes, and you are left in a quiet, calm, open space. Feel the lightness in your own body.

3. Preparing the Ground: 

You are now standing in the clear, open field of your potential—your Nourish-Space. In your hand, you find a single, glowing seed. This seed contains the essence of the woman you are now choosing to become, armed with this new self-knowledge. What is its quality? Is it Self-Compassion? Authenticity? Joy? Plant this seed in the ground before you. As you do, feel its energy spreading like golden roots throughout your being, nourishing you from this moment forward.

Take one final, deep breath and open your eyes.

This process of grieving is the ultimate act of Self-Reclamation. It is the fierce and holy work that precedes all true New Beginnings.

What's one thing you are giving yourself permission to let go of? Name it here.

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